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2 Bon Clay (Bentham) from the Extra Booster Memorial Collection [EB-01] if the player is going first or Eustass Kid from Awakening of the New Era [OP-05] if the player is going second

It cant target creatures, but for burn decks that simply want to reduce the opponents life total, that doesnt matter too much

The card Boxing Ring does a close approximation with the only instance of the term 'fought' in Magic, though Skyshroud Ambush accomplishes the same goal with significantly fewer words

You can get some thematic ones, like Gyre Sage in +1/+1 counter decks, but the combination of any color and hexproof makes this a reliable dork for any deck